Bhutia Wedding

The Land and the People

Bhutia weddings are held mainly in Sikkim, a small state in the Himalayas. They are also held in the hill areas of Darjeeling and Kalimpong in West Bengal. The Bhutia people came from Tibet long ago. They follow Tibetan Buddhism, and their faith shapes every part of their life. Monasteries, prayer flags and butter lamps are a common sight in their villages.

Bhutia weddings have a calm and holy feeling. There are prayers and blessings at every step. The families take great care to follow old customs, and the elders guide the young people. Respect for elders and for the Buddhist teachers is very important in the community.

How Long the Wedding Lasts

A Bhutia wedding usually takes two to three days. In the past, the celebrations could go on for a longer time. Villages were far apart, and guests had to walk for many hours to reach the wedding. So they stayed for many days, and the wedding turned into a big village festival.

Before the Wedding

The families first agree to the match. They talk about the boy and the girl, their families and their homes. When both sides are happy, a lama, who is a Buddhist teacher, chooses a lucky date. The lama looks at the stars and old books to find the best day. No wedding is held until this date is fixed.

The groom’s family then visits the bride’s home with gifts, food and drink. In many families, they offer a white scarf called Khada to show respect. The Khada is a thin silk scarf, and it is offered to guests, elders and teachers as a sign of love and honour. It is placed gently around the neck of the person who receives it. The bride’s family welcomes the visitors with warm words and shares tea and snacks with them.

The Wedding Day

On the wedding day, the lama comes to pray for the couple. He lights butter lamps, which are small lamps made of yak butter. The light of the lamps is a symbol of wisdom and good fortune. The lama reads holy words, and the family sits quietly to listen. The prayers ask for a long life, peace and love for the young couple.

Guests are served tea and a local drink made of millet, called Chhang. Chhang is a warm and mild drink, and it is often sipped from a bamboo mug. The host keeps filling the mug, and guests are expected to take a few sips each time. This is a sign of friendship and hospitality.

The bride is then taken to the groom’s home in a small procession. Her family and friends walk with her, and they sing songs on the way. The couple takes blessings from the elders and the lama. The elders put Khadas around the necks of the bride and groom and wish them a happy life. Music and dances are held for the guests, and the celebration goes on.

Clothes and Jewelry

The bride and groom wear the traditional Bakhu, a long wrap-around robe. The Bakhu is tied at the waist with a belt and is made of heavy, colourful cloth. The bride adds a silk blouse and a striped apron. The apron has bright colours and is worn by married women. The bride also wears silver and coral jewelry. Large pieces of coral and turquoise are common, and many are passed down in the family. The groom may wear a Bakhu with a small cap or hat.

Food, Music and Fun

Food includes momos, noodle soup and local sweets. Momos are little dumplings that are steamed and served with a spicy sauce. Noodle soup, called thukpa, is a warm dish that is loved in the cold hills. Many families also serve rice, vegetables and meat. The dances at a Bhutia wedding are slow and graceful, and the music is played with drums and flutes. The calm prayers, the soft music and the warm hospitality make a Bhutia wedding a peaceful and beautiful event.