Haryanvi Wedding

The Land and the People

Haryanvi weddings are held in Haryana, in northern India. They are also held by Haryanvi families in Delhi, Rajasthan and western Uttar Pradesh. Haryana is a land of green fields, strong farmers and proud wrestlers. The people are known for their simple ways, their sense of humor and their love of milk, curd and ghee.

The people speak Haryanvi and follow a simple, rural and joyful wedding style. Weddings often bring the whole village or neighbourhood together. Everyone helps in some way, and everyone is welcome. The wedding is a time when people forget their worries and enjoy life.

How Long the Wedding Lasts

A Haryanvi wedding usually takes three to five days. Some families begin the small rituals a week before. The village women gather in the evenings to sing. The men help to set up tents and cook big meals. By the time of the wedding day, the village is full of excitement.

Before the Wedding

The wedding begins with the Roka or Sagai, when the families agree on the match. Elders of the bride’s side visit the groom’s home. They give gifts and sweets, and they put a tilak on the groom’s forehead. This is a promise that the wedding will take place.

In the Baan ritual, oil and turmeric are applied to the bride and groom at their own homes. The women of the family apply the paste, and they sing. The bride and groom sit on a low stool and enjoy the attention. This is done for several days before the wedding.

Women sing folk songs and dance during these days. The songs are cheerful and full of jokes. The dance is done in circles, and everyone joins in. It can go on until late at night, when the tired women finally go to sleep.

In a custom called Bhaat, the maternal uncle brings gifts and clothes for the family. He comes with his own family, and they bring a lot of gifts. This is a very old and important ritual. It shows the love of the maternal family, and it helps to pay for the wedding expenses.

The Wedding Day

On the wedding day, the groom sits on a horse in a ritual called Ghurchadi. His sister-in-law applies kajal to his eyes. Kajal is a black eye paint, and it is believed to keep away the evil eye. The groom’s sister-in-law is paid a small gift in return. It is a fun and friendly ritual.

The Barat leaves with dhol and drums. The guests dance all the way to the bride’s home. The families meet in Milni, and the couple exchanges garlands. The elders exchange gifts and warm hugs. The bride and groom sit together on the stage and greet the guests.

The couple takes the pheras around the holy fire, and then the bride says goodbye in Vidai. The priest chants mantras during the pheras. After the rituals, the family says a tearful goodbye to the bride.

Clothes and Jewelry

The groom wears a kurta, a pagdi and often a sherwani. The pagdi is a big turban, and it is a symbol of honour and pride. The bride wears a red lehenga or a Ghagra with a long scarf, called an Odhni. She wears silver and gold jewelry. The dress is bright, and it is decorated with mirrors and embroidery.

Food, Music and Fun

Food is simple and rich, with dishes made of milk, ghee and bajra. Bajra is a type of millet, and it is used to make rotis. The meal often has curd, buttermilk and sweets. Haryanvi people are strong and healthy, and the food shows why. Folk songs called Ragini are also popular. Ragini is a musical form that tells stories in song. The wedding is full of simple joys, and it is a true picture of village life in Haryana.