Jaintia Wedding

The Land and the People

Jaintia weddings are held by the Jaintia people, who are also called Pnar. They live mainly in the Jaintia Hills of Meghalaya, around towns like Jowai. The hills are green and misty, with rivers, waterfalls and caves. The name Meghalaya means the abode of clouds.

The society is matrilineal, which means the family name and property pass through the mother. Children take the mother’s clan name. Many Jaintias follow their old faith, Niamtre, and many are Christians today. Some Jaintia families also follow Hinduism. Because of this mix, the wedding may look a little different from one family to another.

How Long the Wedding Lasts

A Jaintia wedding usually takes one to two days. The families may take more time before that to agree on the match. The time before the wedding is used for talks and for planning the feast. The wedding itself is simple and neat.

Important Customs

In this tradition, the girls and the boys can choose their own partners. Girls are also free to propose to boys. This is quite different from many other parts of India, and it shows the respect given to women in Jaintia society. Young people meet at fairs, festivals and in their villages. If they like each other, they tell their families.

The families talk and agree on the match, and an engagement is held. The elders of both sides meet to talk. They give their blessings and choose a day for the wedding. Betel nut and betel leaf are often exchanged as a sign of respect. In the hills, betel nut and leaf are offered to guests and elders as a sign of love and honour.

Marriage inside the same clan is not allowed. The elders check that the boy and the girl belong to different clans. This rule is followed strictly.

The Wedding Day

The wedding ceremony is held at the bride’s home. The groom goes to the bride’s home with his family and friends. The bride’s family greets them, and they are served food and drinks. The elders offer prayers and give blessings. In families that follow the old faith, a priest says prayers to the gods and to the ancestors. In Christian families, the wedding may be held in the church.

After the wedding, the groom moves to the bride’s home. This is another special custom of matrilineal societies. He becomes a part of his wife’s family, and he helps to take care of the home. The youngest daughter is usually the keeper of the family home and property. She looks after her parents in old age and keeps the family line alive.

Clothes and Jewelry

There is no dowry in the traditional wedding. The bride’s family does not have to pay for the groom. The bride wears a Jainsem, which is a wrap-around silk dress, with gold or silver jewelry. The Jainsem is bright and rich, and it is worn with a shawl or a cloth over the shoulders. Some brides wear a crown of silver or gold. The groom wears a traditional dress or a suit.

Food, Music and Fun

Guests are served a feast with rice, meat, vegetables and local dishes. The food is cooked in simple ways with fresh local herbs. Pork is a popular meat, and it is often served with rice and a spicy chutney. Christian couples also have a church service. There are songs, and the guests share the food with joy. A Jaintia wedding is simple and full of respect, especially for women and for the family.