Bengali Wedding

The Land and the People

Bengali weddings are held in West Bengal, Tripura and some parts of Assam and Jharkhand. They are also held in Bangladesh and by Bengali families around the world. Bengal is a land of art, poetry, music and sweets. The people are proud of their culture and their language. A Bengali wedding is a big family event with lots of music, food and fun.

Many customs of a Bengali wedding are known only in Bengal. Some of them are very old and are still followed with love today. Women play a big part in these customs, and there are many sweet moments that make the wedding special.

How Long the Wedding Lasts

A Bengali wedding takes about three to five days. Some small rituals begin a week before the main wedding. The house is cleaned and decorated, and relatives begin to arrive from far and near. Each day has its own ritual, and each ritual has its own meaning.

Before the Wedding

The wedding starts with Aashirbaad. In this ritual, the elders of the family bless the bride and groom. They put rice and a special grass called durba on the head of the bride or groom. This is a sign of good wishes for a long and happy life. Aashirbaad is done for both the bride and the groom in their own homes.

The day before the wedding, the families hold Aiburobhaat. This is the last meal of the bride or groom as an unmarried person. It is a big meal with many dishes, and the family members sit and eat together. The meal is full of love and jokes, and the bride or groom is treated like a guest of honour.

Gaye Holud is the turmeric ceremony. The turmeric paste is sent from the groom’s home to the bride’s home, along with sweets, fish and gifts. The bride is then rubbed with this paste. The same is done for the groom at his home. Women use the paste, and they sing and laugh during the ritual. It is a happy and playful event, and often it becomes a small party.

The Wedding Day

On the wedding morning, the bride and groom eat a simple meal of curd and flattened rice. This is called Dodhi Mangal. The meal is cool and light, and it is eaten before a long day of rituals.

In the evening, the bride’s family welcomes the groom in a ritual called Bor Boron. The bride’s mother and other women greet the groom with a lamp, sweets and a small puja. Then comes a very special moment called Subho Drishti. The couple looks at each other for the first time, with betel leaves covering their faces. It is a shy and sweet moment, and the crowd watches in silence. Then the couple exchanges garlands in Mala Badal. Friends and relatives lift the bride and groom up in a playful way, and the fun goes on.

The main wedding rites include Sampradan, the seven steps and Sindoor Daan. In Sampradan, the bride’s father gives his daughter to the groom. In the seven steps, the couple walks around the holy fire and makes promises to each other. In Sindoor Daan, the groom applies red sindoor on the bride’s hair parting. After the wedding, the groom’s family hosts a reception called Bou Bhat. In this feast, the new bride serves the family and is welcomed into her new home.

Clothes and Jewelry

The bride often wears a red Banarasi sari. She also wears shell bangles called Shakha and Pola. The Shakha is white and the Pola is red. They are a sign of a married woman. The groom wears a dhoti, a kurta and a special cone-shaped headgear called Topor. The Topor is made of white pith and is a very old part of the Bengali wedding dress.

Food, Music and Fun

Fish, rice and sweets like rosogolla and sandesh are always part of the feast. The Bengali love for fish is famous, and the wedding feast has many fish dishes. Women blow conch shells and make a special sound called ulu, which is a loud and happy call. This sound is heard at the most important moments of the wedding. The songs, the sweets and the warm love of the family make a Bengali wedding an unforgettable event.